STAR TREK: SHORT TREKS
SEASON 3, EPISODE 1
SEASON 3, EPISODE 1
Skin a Cat
Series: Star Trek: Short Treks - (2018 - current)Season: 3
Episode #: 1
Original Airdate: September 8th, 2023
Writer(s): Casper Kelly
Director(s): Aaron Hawkins
Starring
Ethan Peck as Spock
Pete Holmes as the Captain
Cristina Milizia as Knickersonian
Cristina Milizia as Dream Woman
Cristina Milizia as Lt. M'Ress
Bonnie Gordon as the Voice of the U.S.S. Enterprise Computer
Eric Bauza as the Antedian
Eric Bauza as Ass Face
Eric Bauza as the Screwhead
Stardate: Unknown
Synopsis
Somewhere in deep space, the U.S.S. Enterprise is surrounded by a fleet of Klingon D7 Class Battlecruisers which are bombarding the ship with volleys of photon torpedoes. On the bridge, Spock informs the Captain of the dire situation; the ship's weapons are disabled and the shields are down. Undaunted, the Captain confidently proclaims he has a way out of the precarious situation. As Spock informs him the ship's engines are also down, the Captain assures the first officer there's "more than one way to skin a cat." The statement infuriates the Caitian Lieutenant M'Ress who takes the phrase seriously. The Captain tries to back-peddle, assuring her it was simply a figure of speech, however M'Ress, still incensed, asks how he would like it if she were to say there was "more than one way to disembowel a human?"
Annoyed, the Captain says this isn't the time to argue about the perceived insult as they have "bigger fish to fry" at the moment. Of course, this figure of speech alarms the Antedian ensign who asks the Captain if he wishes to fry HIM. Becoming more perturbed at the situation, the Captain tells the ensign not to get his "knickers in a twist." On cue, the Knickersonian ensign proclaims her people are a proud species who serve the Federation with honor. Deflated and somewhat embarrassed, the Captain profusely offers his apologies as Spock suggests he avoids any further figures of speech. The Captain agrees, apologizing again and admitting he was a dumbass and he screwed up.
Not surprisingly, two other bridge officers - Ass Face and Screwhead - are insulted by the Captain's latest figure of speech. Perplexed, the Captain indicates he had never seen the two officers before; on the bridge or otherwise. They inform him they handle water pressure which further confuses the Captain. Suddenly, Spock informs him the hull has been breached and the next shot would destroy the Enterprise. The Captain doesn't know how to proceed, complaining every time he says something, it appears to conjure up someone who becomes instantly offended by whatever he said.
Suddenly, a light bulb goes off and the Captain realizes what he must do. He begins a soliloquy where he attempts to conjure up a woman who would have the answer to saving the ship, but also be the perfect companion for the Captain, sharing in his desires. When the 'dream woman' appears, the Captain immediately gets on bended knee and proposes. Unfortunately, the Klingons continue their assault and destroy the Enterprise.
Until next week...
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