The Cerritos is visiting the Grottonus system, and all four of the main lower deckers are excited to be going on the same away mission in a “Beta shift reunion.” Mariner loses interest when she learns the location of the mission; a cave. The rest of the team is excited to study this cave’s unusual moss as Mariner continues to bemoan cave missions. Soon enough, there is some rumbling followed by a cave-in which cuts off communications. Beckett’s frustrated kicking of a rock triggers that moss to start glowing… and encroaching on the team. The moss grabs Tendi, who escapes as her boot gets devoured. With phasers seeming to have little or no effect, the lower deckers realize the moss growth rate gives them just a couple of hours to find a way out. Tendi has an idea, inspired by a memory of when they were all stuck in a turbolift together, but Mariner insists a turbolift experience doesn’t count and one of them must have an idea after so many stuck-in-cave missions. Boimler begins with a recollection of a previous cave-ensnared mission...
Boimler’s story happened when he was stuck in a cave on Kyron 4 with Lt. Levy, that guy who thinks Wolf 359 was an inside job. An ion storm had them sheltering in a cave with no way to communicate, where the jittery Levy randomly theorizes that shape-shifting Vendorians are behind all of it. Boimler is naturally dismissive and soon elated to find a small vehicle they can use to get help, but Levy shocks him by vaporizing it: Finding a dream vehicle only one of them could use was obviously part of a “classic Vendorian morality test.” Boimler has had enough, calling Levy “insufferable” as he ticks off reasonable explanations for some of his crazy conspiracies. With a tear, Levy says he was just trying to help, then the pair is shocked when stalagmites shimmer and transform into Vendorians, who are displeased with Boimler’s cruelty and say the Starfleet pair has failed their morality test.
Even Levy is a bit surprised to have been right, but when he predicts the Vendorian’s detailed gruesome punishment, the tentacle creatures change their tone, impressed he knows their customs. Boimler eggs Steve on, saying he is a “huge Vendorian fan,” and soon enough the whole laying of brood pods in their necks thing is forgotten as they all sit down for a nice meal of giant crickets, where Levy espouses even more of his theories—which their captors find “artfully mixed with hyperbole and fiction.” Boimler acquiesces: He has learned to be nicer to Levy, even though Levy is still a “crackpot.” The Vendorians rejoice over the success of their morality gambit.
Back in the present, Brad reports the Vendorians showed him how Gammanite can boost coms, which can help them now. Mariner is annoyed Boimler and Levy bonded, but her attention turns to the ticking clock that just got louder as the carnivorous moss advances, spitting out a skeleton. Tendi finds Boimler’s story interesting, noting how being stuck together can result in surprising conversations, but Mariner again cuts off her non-cave story. Boimler and Rutherford quickly start working to get the trigammanite, which Sam reveals he learned to gather using a phaser filtered through a pair of pants from his own cave adventure with Dr. T’Ana… and their child.![]()
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Rutherford recollects his mission which began a few weeks ago when Billups got swamp rash and he and the doctor searched a cave on Balkus 9 for a special medicinal fern. They were being guided by Thusa, a very helpful local alien who assured them not to worry about any Grafflax as the brain-eating monsters were probably just a myth… right before a Grafflax emerges to chomp Thusa and spit her across the cave. As she lies dying, she reaches out to Rutherford, saying something about transferring to a new body before she crumbles to dust. Soon enough Sam isn’t feeling well, which fits, as the doctor informs him he is pregnant. The Balkus aliens “procreate by dermal contact” and a baby version of Thusa is growing inside of him “in seconds.” She cuts it out and now they’re stuck in a cave with a newborn. The always acerbic doctor isn’t a fan of babies, but Rutherford is a natural. After numerous failed attempts to find a way out, the Caitian eventually bonds with the little alien and declares the little clone cutey their “co-adventurer.” When the growling Grafflax shows up again, Rutherford snaps into action, converting his tricorder into a translator so they can communicate. The monster didn’t want to eat them, it was just protecting its own baby inside that cave pond. It thinks T’Ana and Rutherford are good parents, so it agrees to help them.
Back in the current cave, the lower deckers are stunned, and frankly annoyed, this is the first they are hearing about the baby adventure. Mariner also snaps at Tendi when she tries to talk about that time stuck on the turbolift again as she is losing patience due to being surrounded by flesh-eating moss. When Sam notices Mariner doing uncharacteristic combadge microcircuitry filtering trigammanite, she sheepishly reveals she learned the trick on a recent cave adventure with the dreaded Delta Shift.
Some time earlier on the planet Glish, after crashing a shuttle into a cave, a disheveled Mariner stumbles out followed by Delta Shift’s Karavitus, who isn’t impressed with the landing, and nor is the angry Asif, who has a bone sticking out of his leg. Mariner takes charge of the situation and gets briefed by Amadou, who reveals shuttle coms can be fixed if they can just find some pergium. Mariner conveniently sees some of the element across the cave, but as she heads towards it, she loses energy and starts visibly aging. The closer they get to the pergium, the older they get. An impatient Karavitus is sure she will be a “spry old lady” and heads across, and soon enough, the pair gets bogged down and fight like bickering old ladies. Mariner calls her rival an a-hole and Karavitus says they resent Beta Shift because Delta works when the ship is asleep so they get no respect and don’t get seen by senior staff—so no chance at a promotion like the one Mariner just got.
Old Beckett agrees that sucks, and they both vow to be more civil if they can get out of the chroniton-infused cave… which just broke Karavitus’ hip. They look to “child prodigy” Asif to make an attempt, assuring him the time dilation will heal his leg, but the horrendous snapping sounds as he struggles across results in the limb falling off, which makes it clear they were very, very wrong. Thankfully, Amadou (now a child) found a reverse-aging area and he has the pergium, so they drag Asif back to youth as he protests leaving his leg behind. Coms are fixed and Mariner’s story ends, revealing she joined in on a “Delta shift” chant. This is too much for Boimler and Rutherford, as chanting should only be for the core four, and they descend into another argument, ignoring Tendi’s calls for calm. With the trigammanite finally sorted, they are ready to get away from each other, but when they call the ship, the moss engulfs them, ominously declaring “you cannot leave.”
The moss tells the confused lower deckers it wants to hear “the green one’s story,” even though it isn’t about a cave. Flashback to Tendi’s first day aboard the Cerritos after that whole rage virus thing, when the four bonded in the bar with a lot of drinking, which Mariner secretly ensured was “the real thing” and not synthehol. They all stumble into a turbolift, which promptly gets stuck as the ship is still a mess. They’re left in there for hours, which they spend playing games that include something involving spelling things with their clothes, 20 Questions, and building a pyramid with their boots. Even with the zombie outbreak and hours stuck in the lift (where nature calls), this is one of the best days of Tendi’s life. She has found fast friends, allaying her worries about being the only Orion (who have a certain reputation) on the ship. The nice moment is shattered when the lift door bursts open and a looming Shaxs leaps in with, “I’m here to save you!” which causes some more involuntary peeing.
Back in the moss cave, the encased foursome laughs and re-bonds over the shared memory. The moss is moved too, asking if they will be its friend. Released from their gooey bond to do more scans, they fulfill their promise to the moss and begin to tell even more fun cave adventure stories. Elsewhere in the cave, two stalagmites shimmer into observing Vendorians, pleased “the junior officers have rekindled their friendship.” Unseen by the four lower deckers below, the tentacle creatures decide to wait to unblock the Starfleeters’ communications, so they can enjoy the moment a little longer.
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